Archive for category Ａｂｏｕｔ

Things are coming together, and by “things” I mean brain cells, specifically, mine. Looking for someone’s address today, sorry I didn’t do postcards this year, found my old card list, used to send out a bunch. Maybe I’ll do it for New Year’s. But I found this old mini-journal, I starded doing lj in 05 I think and I deleted almost all of it but I wrote a lot. It was mostly crap but it helped. I forgot how much it helped cause I found stuff from 04, stuff I just typed up in Notepad (very short entries) and I was completely zonked. Then I remember at some point after that I had the txt files up for download…dumber than the writing. The format is kinda interesting, if you take it as an art piece. Some of it is like that, intentionally poetic or abstract. But then some is just bullshit. If I let myself write more I think I would have figured this faster.

This past year I’ve been thinking about how I’ve almost regressed to being like I was as a teenager and it was really starting to bug me, but now I see I was actually thinking a lot more clearly then. Like I really thought about a future career up to a certain point, then there are years of random nonsense. Completely lost. That’s all I’m going to say about it.

But records, folks. We can talk records. Working on some drafts. And a hard drive reformat. %

I know I need to get more professional. It’s what this whole having-a-website thing is about isn’t it? Having my shit together is Plan B, that’s all I’m saying. Whatever dumb job pays the rent is fine and I’ll make my completely unaccessible art/music to explain my own life back to me. Maybe, maybe (of course) it could make me famous 100 years after I’m dead. That’s the dream! But it’s just not working out. I walked out on too many of those dumb jobs. It didn’t used to matter, you could take some time off and walk right into another job a month later (only way to get a vacation anyway). But these place are a lot pickier now. The unbelievably stupid dream is dead. Let’s be clear, I wasn’t looking for a showbiz “break”, I mean a break like finding a winning lottery ticket, one of my relatives dying (after winning the lottery—not a rich family—and also deciding they liked me enough to actually inherit anything, just as unlikely). Or there’s always marrying a lottery winner. (Assuming a conventionally rich woman would be too smart or high class to fall for me…still holding out for this one tho. It’s statistically most probable and no has to die.)

But the time has come to begin thinking about trying to begin trying to get a real job. Yes, I could live with my parents indefinitely and continue blogging and working odd jobs, making only enough money for gas and multiple credit card bills. But that road only leads to easily earned respect—blogging is widely accepted the only true valid art form of the 21st century—but it’s too easy! I’d just be coasting.

I dunno where the fuck I’m going with this, I gotta walk my dog. Peace. %

12.7.84 Oklahoma City OK […] During the second set, the crowd was that curious college type. They have what I call “R.E.M. Sensibilities” and Black Flag has a tendency to make them react in strange ways.

I’ve had this example in my head since I read Get In The Van a couple years ago about contradiction in writing and how blogging and the internet in general—having everything everyone has ever said on record being easily available—is destroying any young person’s attempt at achieving emotional maturity and enabling everyone else to sink even lower, to the point where everyone can act like a bunch of 5th graders and no one even thinks it’s weird anymore. Problem is, the example doesn’t exist in the book the way I remember it. There’s two R.E.M. references in the book, but they aren’t close enough to have anything to do with each other (somewhere later he’s simply listening to them while writing: “R.E.M. on the stereo”). The way I remember it, he’s coming down a lot harder on the fans, then soon after he’s grooving out to them with no qualification. It’s not exactly scandalous however you embellish it but I figure, if this was a blog he’d have to have some bullshit in there like “hey guys, I know I said these R.E.M. people could never do what I do and that I would destroy them, but you know…the band does have some catchy tunes.” The comments would be apeshit. Backpedaling would be demanded, yet not at all accepted. Anytime he did anything: “Rollins? That fucker can’t even make up his mind about R.E.M.” Nonsense.

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Man, this WordPress 3.3 is great. Recently I’ve been realizing I take my internet knowledge for granted. Never thought about using it to get a real job, or any job. Just been doing whatever menial work and only thought about doing more of the same until I got some “break” of some kind. Well, I guess I know some stuff. Not too great at selling myself obviously. Saw the Weekly was looking for someone to write up live shows a while ago, but that’s their “intern” position and it required a resume and cover letter. I could see free shows as a fine enough type of payment but if I had a decent resume I would at least attempt to be getting a real job with it. Never understood the cover letter. I’d rather dig trenches for a year if I could skip the cover letter. I have to sell you the quality of my past trench digging? Can you just look at these trenches? Deep enough? I’ll dig some more. The last job I applied for before I had to move back in with my parents was dishwasher at a waffle house, 45 minute commute by train and bike. Anything but retail again. But I had no experience. Or they assumed I was crazy. I mean, that’s reasonable. Really wanted that job. But this WordPress update is great. Highly Recommended. %

Moved all the links that were just bookmarks to tumblr. Also managed to get into the my old livejournal, which I had lost the password and the email for but I finally got in there, cleaned things up a bit, changed the links to updated personal links and consolidated the rest (most links were to dead or deleted blogs anyway). I’m not going back to posting there, but there is a livejournal feed that works for this blog now, since I’ve redirected the feed from the old blog (does this make sense? It does for some.) And for I while I haven’t been linking to blogs that are already showing up on my blogspot profile. There’s some fuzziness to the whole process that keeps me from trying to make a “best of the internet” list which is a good way to make you want to quit the internet and/or life. Both will end on their own time. I mean…cheer up? Happy holidays.
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