Sorry about all this. When I started out, writing this sentence, I figured it might go somewhere funny. I was wrong. But then I wrote another sentence, then another. And here we are.

I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about half the time and that’s when I’m talking about myself. I dunno what it is. All I’m trying to do is express my true self accurately in cold dead words on a computer screen; everyone else I talk to says it’s easy. The other day I was talking to Sammy, I mean Mark, you’d know him as Mark, Twain that is, I mean I go to his grave sometimes wherever that is and just talk, you know? And I don’t really expect an answer, but I’m like, “Why can’t I do this?” And he’s all like, “Fuck you, Rain Man.” Damn. That’s cold, Mark Twain. Just because you’re a long-dead, universally acclaimed literally genius does not make me a retard. But so many other things do, and this is the real problem. I scrambled myself. It was intentional. I used to know my limitations and tried to overcompensate in other areas. It wasn’t easy but it was working out. Then it was turned upside-down. I thought it had to be done. I followed the opposite of every instinct. Hijinx ensued. Fun was had. Unfun, had. Ok. We did that. Can’t be sustained. I’m ok with it.

I think there’s some middle way to go. I posted this thing over on tumblr it just a reblog like most of my posts lately (and an old one, have a bunch of reblogs saved as drafts to go through). So that’s the old Christgau doc I never saw till just now…I actually didn’t used to like him cause of a few bad reviews I didn’t agree with, but I get him a lot more now. That NYP asshole is used extremely effectively. How could you agree with that chode? Look at Christgau being all down-to-earth…great editing. Well, I should tell you that I don’t think I’m a video editor now, and I don’t think I’m Christgau because I’m quite delusional normally and can barely speak in a sentence of my own words.

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In the last post I referred the general shittiness of baby boomers continuing to dominate Rock well into the 21st century. It’s ironic since I’m seeing Motorhead in a couple weeks and I’m pretty excited. I almost couldn’t afford it. But it feels like The End. Lemmy is the last of the original rockers I care about and I’ve never seen them. So I can’t wait to not tell you about it. I decided a while ago I enjoy shows more when I have no expectation of myself to write it up. Wind up verbalizing in my head too much and looking for flaws. Sometimes I still take pics but haven’t been doing video. It really is way more fun to just let yourself enjoy the show in real time.

But anyway there’s this non-existent generational gap war that comes up and I get caught up in it myself a bit. I guess it’s Generation X/Y vs The Boomers and there just more of them and that’s all there is to it. Lemmy is almost the same age as my father which is weird cause my father is not into Rock at all, never was. Not that he’s uptight about it, it just wasn’t his thing. Maybe I can relate to Boomer Rock more than someone who had it pushed on them and had to rebel by rejecting it. (Rejecting rock by creating slightly different forms of rock is not much of a rebellion, but whatever.) When Lemmy goes and these other big bands that are still making money go, rock will still exist, like jazz still exists, but it’s hard to take it seriously as a major cultural force. It’s kind of ridiculous to keep using the same name for music that does not have the same energy anyway. But everything’s ridiculous.

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I need to heavily edit my flickr. I wish I was better at taking pictures in general. Taking that kind of picture is a special skill but the act itself went against by concept what I was doing with photography so I didn’t do it all for a long time. Which I guess is funny now. Most clubs wouldn’t allow it either. No record of some of those clubs even existing now. It’s depressing that there are some scenes or eras that are so heavily documented and others there’s nothing. The Boomers were much better at being clingy and nostalgic. You can’t get mad at Punk or whatever for sticking more the ideal than the artifact. If the ideal matters.

I haven’t seen the new Lemmy movie yet. I think this one (via Menche) is better. Lemmy’s interesting by himself and all but I think some people miss the point. I’m seeing Motorhead in what I’d call a mid-sized venue, which are usually the best shows but I wonder if more people went to see the movie about the thing than would see the thing itself.

I’m getting the new record so I’ll eventually review that. But I’m pretty bad at reviewing things.

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I don’t mean to start a trend with my last post mentioning the birthday of Henry Rollins, it was more of a coincidence since I had the idea for the post and then someone mentioned it so I posting it that day ties it all together. Like today someone mentioned it was Kurt Cobain’s birthday. He would have been 44. I’m not too good with remembering bdays in general, but the internet gives you less excuse to forget. I tend to think of Cobain on the anniversary of his death, April 4th. I was in the hospital at the time and heard about it on the radio my mother brought in. I hadn’t tried to kill myself, but I probably could have the way I was acting. Long story short, I was already not in the greatest of moods. No one at the hospital acknowledged it.

So I feel like mentioning it. I don’t like how people overstate or diminish his importance as a musician, or get way into the whole tragic romance thing of his death. He was like the guy, if you had serious depression issues, he was the King of Getting It. Even Trent Reznor’s schickt seemed like…schickt after a while. If this guy could get by, maybe you could too. Well, obviously he couldn’t. He even had a wife and kid and he still rocked. Seemed like a plausible model for “alternative” adulthood. Not necessarily mine, but the idea that you could grow up without growing out of everything you used to care about.

But he did stop caring, or cared way too much. Who knows. You can read whatever you want into it, but you are better off not. If you are fixated too much on Cobain and “alternative”, like nostalgia buffs and kids who were not even born then, you’re missing the bands that existed before that and kept going after. If you write off Nirvana entirely you are missing the big picture. They are a great gateway band if you start with them, and if you work backwards they tie a lot of threads together. “Alternative” never made sense as a musical movement. Ignore all the marketing terms. The only reason that term exists is that after Nirvana no one called themselves anything anymore. Like there were metalheads when I was a freshman in high school and people call themselves that now, but there were a few years there when it seemed like everyone listened to everything. But my memory gets a bit dodgy as I was on a whole lot of drugs. Don’t do drugs? I was on the good drugs not the Cobain drugs. What I’m saying is take the right amount of drugs. Shooting yourself in the head is definitely a bad idea in any circumstance. Most other things you could live to write a book about at least. Keith Richards is still alive writing books. Not that he shouldn’t be but there’s something deeply wrong about baby boomers still getting the last laugh in 2011. What the hell, Kurt?

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Isn’t it time for a new meta post?

No, no more meta posts. The whole thing turns into meta posts.

Well, the whole thing is turning into…this.

I got stuff.

Stuff, huh.

Yeah, there’s stuff coming up. Reviews.

You want to talk about stuff besides records, don’t you, you fuuuuuck.

Ah… maybe.

You’d have to change the name!

I could just take “RECORDS” out.

Doesn’t the other part mean “records”?

No. Not even close.

Should—

You shouldn’t.

What could it possibly…

Let’s move on.

Ok, just take out “RECORDS” then. Who cares?

Ehhh…

GOD. DAMNIT.

It’s so balanced. It just sits so there nicely.

You know what else would sit nicely? REVIEWS.

Not always.

Well…there’s only one way to find out.

Oh, we’ve found out.

Moving on…? It’s not just the name is it?

IS IT.

Stop that. You’re still fidgeting with the sidebar.

Yeah I was thinking about taking that video out.

That video may be the only thing good on this page!

Yeah, I really spent some time with the code so it would work there. Still.

I…was referring to the content.

Oh. Yes.

Have you seen what these posts look like in the feed?!

…

…?

Oh god.

Yep.

I’ll just be working on some posts then.

I think you mean reviews.

Reviews.

Of records.

Might as well be records.

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