{"id":4985,"date":"2026-10-28T20:48:40","date_gmt":"2026-10-29T00:48:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jimhaku.com\/blog\/?p=4985"},"modified":"2026-10-28T20:48:41","modified_gmt":"2026-10-29T00:48:41","slug":"turn-your-machine-off","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jimhaku.com\/blog\/turn-your-machine-off\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;Turn your machine off.&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I am trying to hack into some kind of device. It looks like a router but I am connected to it like a hard drive, viewing the views via shell, somehow. A turtle is helping me. The files belong to him. Every once in a while he says something like, &#8220;good&#8221;. It&#8217;s not helping. We can&#8217;t transfer the files. I keep getting distracted because the turtle has something just inside his shell, looks like a blackhead. I&#8217;m worried. My human friend is also there and getting agitated. &#8220;I gotta get those pics, I can sell &#8217;em!&#8221; Is it&#8230;turtle porn? I take a break to hit the can. Outside the door, a voice says,<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I am trying to hack into some kind of device. It looks like a router but I am connected to it like a hard drive, viewing the views via shell, somehow. A turtle is helping me. The files belong to him. Every once in a while he says something like, &#8220;good&#8221;. It&#8217;s not helping. We [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"activitypub_content_warning":"","activitypub_content_visibility":"","activitypub_max_image_attachments":4,"activitypub_interaction_policy_quote":"anyone","activitypub_status":"federated","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[436],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4985","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-x"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1m3oy-1ip","jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jimhaku.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4985","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jimhaku.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jimhaku.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jimhaku.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jimhaku.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4985"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.jimhaku.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4985\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4989,"href":"https:\/\/www.jimhaku.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4985\/revisions\/4989"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jimhaku.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4985"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jimhaku.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4985"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jimhaku.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4985"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}